All of my life I have been living by my own rules. I never really listened to what anyone told me. Advice (most of the time very useful) fell on deaf ears. Rules, who needs those? Going to bed early and eating healthy? Fuck that!
Needless to say, whatever I thought was right at the moment, I did. And, as you can imagine, it led me to involuntarily get involved in situations I would have rather wished to avoid.
For example- my student loan. Don´t fucking get one, okay!
One time, I was at a bar in Montreal with a girlfriend of mine and it was at the end of our night out, we were on the sidewalk not wanting to go home yet because we wanted to keep partying. These two guys asked us if we wanted to go to a house party, and, slightly intoxicated, we said yes, we got into their car only to realize after exiting the city that they were most definitely not taking us to a house party, anyways, we managed to get out of the car (in the middle of the highway) and got to safety. A 40$ cab ride back into the city and….yeah – Don´t get into cars with strangers.
Bad boys….my mother always told me about them. ¨Find yourself someone nice, not a loser!¨
Okay, MOM! I´m 16, I´m pretty sure I got this.
When I was about 15 or 16 years old, I met this guy name Peter (I will change his name because...well, I decided to make one good decision, haha!). Peter was a metal head which was extremely appealing to me at this point in my life. He always wore band t-shirts with bloody logos and listen to hardcore bands like Cannibal Corpse and Dimmu Borgir. Needless to say, I was VERY impressed. Oh, did I mention his piercing blue eyes? Yeah, that was my COOL peter.
Peter didn´t really have a good home life, his mother was not really present in his life and when she was, she would beat the shit out of him, not feed him or, well, fulfill her motherly duties. I don´t know what happened with his father but I´m going to assume that it´s nothing good. Peter, also smoked and smoked weed and wasn´t the cleanest, hygiene wise. And, I love it!
I ate it up. I found him so ungodly attractive. He was so skinny and skateboarded and had this smelly backpack with not much inside. Perhaps there was a change of clothes in there because he would often couch hop from one friend to another. Needless to say, I fell head over heels for him.
I remember, one time, when we first kissed, he was so nervous he was shaking and sweating and I thought so highly of myself that I had the power to do that to someone. From then on, I thought I was a god sent to men and men became a commodity in my life. (keep in mind I was 16 years old, ok!) Peter was a bad decision because, as my mother would say, he was a fucking loser.
Fast forward to my second year of university. I was attending Waterloo University in Waterloo, Ontario. I was part of the cool art kids crew, well, I was in the Fine Arts program and hung out with the weirdos of the class, not the ones that thought they were the reincarnation of Picasso. We did a lot of funky things which I won't name because my mother reads my stuff so, I will keep it PG so she keeps her good image of me in her head!
ANYWAY! Us weirdos would often find ourselves in a small, grungy, smelly, sticky bar called Phil´s, where drinks were only 2$ and for broke students, this was amazing! We´d drink and drink and make bad mistakes, we´d stay up all night and party. I also used to visit my friend, Lee, in Toronto and we´d paint and talk philosophy and buy books on the Occult and just pretend we were much, MUCH cooler than we actually were. I´d wear cool artsy clothes with paint on them to show people I was ¨an artist¨ and I did a lot of research on obscure shit that people knew nothing about. I was obsessed with this lifestyle that by the end of my first year of university I needed to take an extra $5,000 loan from the bank to make sure I would have enough money for the following semester!
My father would tell me to save my money and be careful with my money and save, save, save but...I still piss it all down the drain. Even at 27 you´d think I´d learn to save, right? No. I´m still fucking broke.
But, through all of my hard-learned lessons, I learned how to live a life which I wanted and still want. Throughout all the hard times which could have been avoided if I only listened to those around me, I grew stronger and learned how to truly depend on myself and, most importantly, I saw how capable I was of overcoming hardships. Now, all of the hardships could have been avoided but, I´d never be half as strong as I am today. So, my advice to you is, live your life, fuck what people think of your purple and green hair, kiss girls and boys on the same night and buy that $100 jean jacket.