Yeah, you know what I’m talking about.
Here you are, after finding a great guy on Tinder (yeah lets be honest, that’s where everyone meets each other these days, no shame in that) who doesn’t seem too fucked up, or not too weird and actually has a good set of morals (your momma did good, boy!) You’re thinking to yourself “Ah, okay I found a good one, I can’t fuck this one up”. You go to the bathroom to get ready and make sure you don’t have lipstick on your teeth and ensure that your hair stays in place so you look #flawless alllllll night. You wink at yourself in the mirror (a little confidence boost) and put on your best outfit and out the door, you go!
Dates have been going well, the conversations are always flowing like Niagara Falls and things seem to be JUST perfect! I mean, maybe not perfect but you see a ton of potential in him and, most importantly, that cute relationship made-up scenario in your head, well, COULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN! WHAA!!!
He’s gorgeous, got dark eyes, tanned skin, just how you like it. He listens to the same music you do and doesn’t judge the fact that you listen to Despacito like 50 times a day. He actually went out of his way to find you a Metal version of it because he knows you love heavy metal. He listens to you babble on about whatever you babble on about and you know, you don’t mind putting up with his babbling either. He talks really fast when he’s excited and you find that kind of charming.
THEN, the dreaded moment that all the girls know will eventually happen (it’s just a matter of time), he tells you his ex-spoke to him a few days ago and he’s all sad and reminiscent of all the good times they had together when, really, you know he’s only missing the sex but HEY, what do I know! You try to comfort him but you’re kind of in an awkward place and not entirely sure how you should behave. Do you have the right to be mad? Should you feel insulted or should you be happy he was honest enough to tell you? And then you start to doubt yourself, was I too much? Did I push him away somehow? Was I the one who did something wrong? Maybe that’s why he stopped talking to me for a few days…And, if you’re anything like me, your brain goes into thinking overdrive and you drive yourself absolutely crazy thinking about the whole thing.
And then, you hear the words “I like you BUT…”
Ah fuck, the “I like you but…”
Whoever coined that sentence deserve an award for the sentence that makes your stomach drop in a matter of seconds.
He says “I like you but I need time to think about things” - This, is never a good sign. Your brain goes back into overdrive and you know this is the end. I mean, it's ending before it even really began! …wonderful.
All because some dumb ex-girlfriend decided that she felt lonely and wanted to have sex with someone she was comfortable with and HAD to message him back. So now, there you are, kind of…feeling loser-ish for picturing all these nice scenarios in your head that will never happen, for sending those nudes or teasing him late at night. You’re starting to feel very stupid for liking someone you met off Tinder (because we know nobody from Tinder is ACTUALLY reliable), for liking someone who deep down you knew would do this to you. You start to feel stupid because, well, because you’re hurt.
And, feeling stupid sometimes is a good reminder to not let people in so quickly. To not project yourself with someone even though things seem perfect. Most of the time if things are too good to be true, its because they actually are and, if things seem to be perfect, well, try looking at the relationship objectively and not thinking about those scenarios in your head.
Ps- can we find a new way to meet people? Tinder is getting old.
Lame and cliché title, I know. BUT! Hear me out, (please).
A few years ago, my father and I were sitting in front of the television while I was visiting and, as per usual, we weren’t doing much. We weren’t really talking either, things have always been awkward between us so we just stay quiet most of the time. Anyway, I picked up the book he had laying on the coffee table, it read The Secret. I looked through the pages reading philosophical passages about this mysterious “Law of Attraction” and things like “The Law of Attraction is one of the most powerful laws in the universe. What you think about is what you bring about into your life. You can improve your life drastically by improving the thoughts that you dwell upon and the actions that you take.”
I thought it was all horse crap, well, for a hot minute. Later that night before going to bed I was scrolling through the abundance of movies on Netflix and by chance fell onto The Secret.
I chuckled thought to myself “they even made a movie? That’s a bit excessive” and, pressed play.
The movie was kind of terribly done with testimonies from people who had practised the laws of attraction and that whatever they had wished for and thought positively about came true. Again, I thought this wasn’t real, shut my computer down and went to sleep.
That night I had a strange dream about cutting up pieces of paper which, is one on of the aspects of the laws of attraction (seeing or visualizing what you want). So, against my will, that following morning I got my Moleskin and began writing a few things I wanted and laid in bed thinking about them, just, you know, to make sure this whole thing was fake. I was convinced nothing would happen.
The Law of Attraction states that if you visualize yourself every day already having the things you want for a minute or two, you send energy or vibrations into the universe and it will respond by answering your demands. Now, I must warn you, this takes time and just because you have envisioned yourself winning a million dollars, doesn’t mean you will win the lottery overnight. However, the universe will provide in very strange and unexplainable ways.
For example, after writing things in my notebook that I wanted, thinking about them when I’d wake up and before I’d go to sleep, I began to slowly forget what I was putting into the universe so, I created a vision board. This implied me cutting up images of things I wanted in my life whether it be to be more positive, to find love, a good job, the houses I find nice and, honestly, I put down whatever image I found that appealed to me. I remember putting down the date August 28th. I had no plans for that date but I just put it down on my wall and looked at it, thought about it and visualized something good happening that day.
On August 28th, the boy I was seeing asked me to be his girlfriend! I hadn’t visualized this but I had visualized something positive and (at the time) this was a very positive thing happening to me. I have visualized me teaching English which happened, I have visualized many trips which have materialized amongst so many other things. Now, keep in mind that what I am visualizing I am also working towards but the universe just, magically (and I know this sounds absolutely crazy) gives you a little push towards what you want.
I’ve never been one to push my beliefs on anyone as I hate when people do that to me, however, this is a pretty radical way of changing your life and I believe that a lot of us need a change or something positive to focus on in 2018. Google “Law of Attraction” and read up on what it can do for you. Again, I’m not saying you will become the next sexiest man alive or the next Bosslady; however if you visualize it, you never know!